Thursday, January 27, 2011
I apologize there has been so few blogs in the past year. When I started this blog I hoped it would serve as a way to unite those who love Michael, but I have found it incredibly difficult to look at pictures of Mike...much less this blog. I think avoidance might be a new step for me in this whole grief thing. As time has went on, Michael's death has actually became harder, not easier, to think about. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to blog about it. I didn't want to accept it.
I think the person I want to apologize to most though is my brother. I have never been a spiritual person, but over the past few months I have slowly seen a shift in myself. I am now certain that my brother has been lying the same shirt (the light blue quicksilver one) of his on the floor in our basement for the past few months. Every time we fold it back up and put it safely on the shelves, it ends up back on the floor unfolded.
There has been a few other occurrences that make it hard to deny that Michael is not still with us. I want to apologize to Mike, because I know that he is trying to tell us "Hey! I am still here! I don't want you guys to be sad and I want to continue to be part of you and your life! I love you so please pick me up and bring me back into your lives!"
Ok, I know this all might sound a little bizarre, but this is Titties we are talking about here. If you have avoided thinking of Michael or Michael's death I encourage you to create your own ritual to bring his smile, love and passion back into your life. Maybe you pour a shot of whiskey for him tonight and put it next to his picture. Or maybe you just take a moment to talk to him and wish him a happy birthday. Whatever it is, I truly believe creating a ritual to do on his birthday or even better... everyday to show him you love him and that he has not been forgotten will help both you and my brother.
We love you Michael. Happy Birthday